If RL Was A Game

So I was recently reminded of the news story about some kid who uses what he learned from playing World of Warcraft in order to save his sister and himself from a moose attack. After reading, I naturally wondered what would happen if real life took on gaming properties. This is what I have concluded:

• Everyone will have an athletic build and walk around in bitching outfits
  
• Acquiring and wearing body armor automatically makes everyone target your armor first--no cheating and aiming for the head until the armor is gone!
  
• Carrying around health packs/first aid kits is generally a good idea because they can be used to treat anything--it doesn't matter if you just suffered multiple paper cuts or multiple gunshot wounds . . . you WILL be good as new
• If you take out someone, their friends will start a man-hunt for you, but then ADD will kick in and they'll go back to doing whatever it is they were doing--never mind the fact that their friend is unconscious/bleeding/dying/dead
• It is possible for farmers to be growing crops of gold
• Physicists have already invented a way to access an alternate dimension and have given said technology to almost everything that can be killed/looted; just go kill a small rat and loot it--that Barrett M107 you just procured is irrefutable proof that there is an alternate dimension out there
• Everyone will be an expert in all sorts of weaponry . . . pistols, SMGs, rifles, swords, crossbows, you name it
• Giant complexes/mansions will be raided daily for the phat lewtz that lie within
• Mushrooms will be the new steroids--making everyone bigger, faster, and stronger
• Earth will become a war zone--aliens, zombies, vampires, Nazis, werewolves, cultists, and even enraged/crazed animals will turn Earth into a battlefield . . . apparently, everything and their grandmothers wants us wiped out of existence
• Princesses are a dime a dozen and most of them will probably need rescuing
• Any hard encounter (finals, sports games, dealing with the mother-in-law, etc.) will always turn out to be an epic multi-phase affair
• Traffic signals/signs will be ignored 100% of the time
• An ice cream truck that can transform into a robot is something to run away from (despite how delicious ice cream is and how cool robots are)
• A lvl 70 can pwn a lvl 20 in the face--not like now where a 70 year old will get pwnd in the face by a 20 year old
  
• The cake is a lie

What a twisted, crazy, yet strangely enticing world that would be . . .